Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
