if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
