just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
