jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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