I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
