My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
even my farts smell like vagina
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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