sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
