Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize