i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have aggressive nipples.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
