mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how can u be prego again
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
