Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
