Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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