This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
