I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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