Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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