How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
