So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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