just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
