I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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