What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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