hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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