wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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