I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
