I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
