I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
