Whod you bang
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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