Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
