Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
