Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
