dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
