i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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