HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
