I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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