There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
