Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
