I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think i got beer on your cat.
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