How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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