I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
