Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
