I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
