If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
