You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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