Can Purell be used as lube?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
