Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
