I am puke
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
