I cannot find my penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
