so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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