If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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