There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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