just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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