dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
