is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
