No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
