Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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