Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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