I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize