I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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