I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
