So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
