he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize