Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
