At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
