doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
