She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
