i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
