new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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