Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We named our party play list daddy issues
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
