he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
