If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
