chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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